Why Do People Lie?

Why do people lie? Is it simply to deceive for personal gain or is it sometimes for the greater good? Lies are all around us. On average, strangers lie to each other three times within the first ten minutes of meeting. And it’s theorized that we get lied to 10 to 200 times a day. Most are little white lies told to change the perspective of people we’re talking to and to make us seem more interesting or to back up lies we've previously told. According to the compilation of lie journals written for studies, men lie more about themselves, women lie more to protect people they know, married couples lie to each other more than unmarried ones, and we lie more to strangers than friends and peers. People tell on average two lies a day and stretch the truth plenty more than that.

Lying is a necessary skill to have in life. You can use it positively when sparing someone's feelings, keeping a secret for a friend's sake, or hiding a surprise. It’s an important and complicated skill young children learn. They must understand how to deceive without getting caught by analyzing what information they hold that their parents most likely don’t. They must also learn how to formulate a believable lie and how to present it in an effective way.

It can often be difficult to separate mere stories from the truth. So, when necessary, how can we discern insincerity from honesty? The telltale signs of lying vary from person to person but amongst the common ones there are: using hand gestures after speaking instead of during, unusual eye movement, a change in completion or sweating, or a change of tone of voice.

If you want to get better at lying you could also try to keep these symptoms in check. Try to come up with a clear picture of your lie before telling it to avoid the lag of hand gestures or eye movements when thinking of what to say next. You can also attempt to convince yourself somewhat of the lie to stay calm while talking. Avoid using too many “like”s or “um”s and don’t be too afraid of silences.

Some people have constant signs of deception, you can often figure them out after spending way too much time with a person. For example I know someone who always purses their lips just slightly when they tell an outright lie and someone else who just barely squints. Knowing these things is what’s helped me most at spotting lies but it also requires a lot of attention and the testing of your subjects (forcing them into a lie to see if the signs appear).

As humans we don’t like being lied to but that is typically hypocritical as almost everyone has lied before. I believe it’s good to be able to spot lies so you can form your own opinions based on truth but we also need to accept that in our society lying is inevitable.

Sources:

https://www.uwlax.edu/currents/how-often-do-people-lie/ https://time.com/5443204/signs-lying-body-language-experts/ https://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar?referrer=playlist-5_talks_on_the_truth_about_lyi https://www.unh.edu/inquiryjournal/spring-2019/i-cannot-tell-lie-emotional-intelligence-predictor-deceptive-behavior https://aradhanamathews.com/is-lying-a-sign-of-intelligence/#:~:text=A%20series%20of%20very%20interesting,were%20more%20likely%20to%20lie https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5407751/ https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&contentid=528